I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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