Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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