I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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