doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
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It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
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She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
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