You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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