I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize