Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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