it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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