Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
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