HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Are my feet made of real feet?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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