They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
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He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
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One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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