Texts From Last Night

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  (415): View more from California

  if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?

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  (415): if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me? http://tfl.nu/n53h
  Replies (90) Good night (783) Bad night (10178) Order T-Shirt
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."

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  (802): I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic." http://tfl.nu/uvkh
  Replies (60) Good night (5053) Bad night (862) Order T-Shirt
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.

  (714): View more from California

  Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."

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  (712): Doctor said I have sports induced asthma. (714): Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape." http://tfl.nu/hfcj
  Replies (37) Good night (9684) Bad night (1455)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.

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  (417): I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat. http://tfl.nu/8r9j
  Replies (32) Good night (1140) Bad night (7074) Order T-Shirt
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.

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  (502): Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936. http://tfl.nu/hg2d
  Replies (22) Good night (1195) Bad night (9378) Order T-Shirt
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  (954): View more from Florida

  FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.

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  (954): FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today. http://tfl.nu/1con
  Replies (13) Good night (3476) Bad night (1025)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.

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  (301): just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month. http://tfl.nu/ntmv
  Replies (13) Good night (3298) Bad night (748) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?

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  (360): You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right? http://tfl.nu/c6gn
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating

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  (603): He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating http://tfl.nu/fvws
  Replies (10) Good night (3266) Bad night (851) Order T-Shirt
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  (530): View more from California

  I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will

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  (530): I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will http://tfl.nu/u061
  Replies (4) Good night (3254) Bad night (605)
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  (646): View more from New York

  I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?

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  (646): I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10? http://tfl.nu/6lgd
  Replies (9) Good night (1510) Bad night (1132) Order T-Shirt
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.

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  (641): My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days. http://tfl.nu/soru
  Replies (9) Good night (2766) Bad night (595) Order T-Shirt
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  (661): View more from California

  im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom

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  (661): im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom http://tfl.nu/xude
  Replies (3) Good night (923) Bad night (579) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  All you need to know is that isn't jizz

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  (206): All you need to know is that isn't jizz http://tfl.nu/nxjk
  Replies (3) Good night (391) Bad night (707) Order T-Shirt
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo

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  (405): woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo http://tfl.nu/x6fo
  Replies (2) Good night (1226) Bad night (131)

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