It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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