your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
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when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
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Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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