: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize