I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
