Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
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What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
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party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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