question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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