This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
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Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
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We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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