so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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