So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
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Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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