I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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