I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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