My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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