do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize