Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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