i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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