Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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