The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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