my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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