I don't remember. Are we still dating?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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