I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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