I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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