I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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