Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
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I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
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His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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