You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
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I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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