yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
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Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
We left the knife in your bed.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
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Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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