my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize