It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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