my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize