I'll bet she douches with gravy.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize