I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize