Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
that's an acceptable place to lick
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize