I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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