Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize