so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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