I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize