Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
i drank out of a bidet.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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