His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
we're making bets on your personal life
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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