someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
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