I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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