Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize